Yow,

Long time no post — a lot has happened since I was last here. Life just kept moving and I kind of forgot about this space. But here I am now.

March was brutal. My girlfriend lost her lola, and three days later, I lost my father. Yeah. Hell of a month doesn’t even begin to cover it. But this post’s specifically for him.

Sup Pa. 🕊️ Your birthday’s coming up, and Father’s Day just passed — Happy Father’s Day up there in heaven. We miss you so much.

I lost my father to CKD. We fought it as hard as we could, but watching him go through everything was traumatizing. We did dialysis for about four months. He held on for us. He really did. We had a good fight, Pa. You did so well. 💙

Lately I’ve been flooded with memories. Going to the mall together. The time you bought a washing machine for the house. The shoes — which, for the record, you never paid me back for, haha. 😄 You always wanted someone to come with you, especially to the city proper. You never wanted to drive — you’d always hand me the keys. I remember tagging along to renew your driver’s license, buying plants, accompanying you to mourn friends and colleagues. You just never liked going alone.

And yeah — one of my regrets is the times I said no when you asked me to go with you to Panabo to visit relatives. I’m sorry for that, Pa. 💔

I also remember how almost every week you’d call asking if I was heading to the city, and you’d have a list ready — ballpen, sweatshirt, pants, shoes. And whenever I was on my way home, you’d ask me to pick up food. You’d patiently wait for it. Lechon. Hito. Pastil. Every time. 🍽️

I remember when you’d forward Shopee and Lazada links asking me to order stuff — before you eventually figured out how to do it yourself. I also remember that even when I was already earning decent money, you’d still try to buy me clothes and shoes for the holidays. I’d decline because I wanted you to use that money for yourself. You didn’t have to do that, but you always wanted to.

There was this one rare lunch — just you, me, and Mama at Pizza Hut. I don’t even remember what the occasion was or what errands we were running that day. But I remember it. 🍕

I also remember that time you had car maintenance errands and I convinced you to swing by the mall after so I could buy a laptop. You came along, tagged with me and my girlfriend. What was supposed to be just a quick errand turned into a whole day out. I’m glad it did. 😊

I remember the car stuff too. Maintenance runs, aircon fixes, tire replacements, rust work. And I remember fetching you from the house for your dialysis schedules. The nurses and staff we got to know at the hospital. The drive home after — you’d always want to stop by your favorite fish vendor, and then swing by for green mangoes. 🥭

And if that wasn’t enough, we also lost Storm — our Golden Retriever — just days after we buried you. 🐾 Maybe he missed you too much and just decided to go ahead and find you. I like to think that’s what happened. I hope you and Storm are both doing fine up there, keeping each other company. 🕊️🐕

I dreamt of you recently. You were wearing a black hoodie and yellow basketball shorts. You were looking at me with this big proud smile, and you looked genuinely healthy and at peace. It felt real. 🙏

That’s it for now. I’ll carry all of this for as long as I live. I hope you’re always watching over us, Pa.

Happy Father’s Day and Happy Birthday. 🎂 June 24 — I won’t forget. This is the first one without you here, and it hits different. I miss you big time.

I love you, Pa. ❤️